For this week's post I talked a few of my friends who have been married from as little as 8 months to as long as 35 years. By no means did I contact everyone I know who is married, but mostly people in my immediate vicinity (I am planning a wedding here people). What I found was interesting because no matter the length of the marriage, the answers were similar. In no way would I ever say that marriage is easy. On the contrary, most of what I've heard is that marriage is a lot of work. It seems, however, if you focus on a few things and work to do those really well, the benefits far outweigh the investments. I'll stop talking and let you hear a few inspiring words from the future...
*If you would like to contribute to this article with your answers to the questions (and you are currently married), I would love to add you in. Just send me your answers to the questions so that I can review them.
The conversation was started with a simple text message to these ladies containing three questions:
- How long have you been married?
- What's one lesson you've learned about marriage since being married?
- What's your favorite thing about being married?
Here are the letters from the (my) future...
- 8 months
- In marriage, there are amazing times and there times that you say "what did I do", (lol) although of course you love your spouse despite the trying times. But the most important lesson I've learned is that you are a team, and in difficult times, if you have to take an "L" to make things better so be it. You are actually taking a step toward a "W", because that "L" is not a Loss, but a Win essentially because you are choosing to put your marriage first, by putting your feelings and pride to the side for the success of your marriage.
- Having lifelong support and companionship, that is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling treasures about marriage. You don't have to go through life, circumstances, good or bad times alone. You always have your spouse by your side to weather and live life!
- I have been married for 1 year and 2 months.
- One lesson that I have learned is that my husband is God's son. To be there for my family and to continue to be in my relationship with my husband, I have to stay in relationship with God and continuously pray for my husband and my marriage. It's so important to let God give me direction and guidance to interact everyday with my husband.
- My favorite thing about being married is that I get to learn new things about my husband everyday. That I have each and every day with my assignment as a wife to be the wife that God has called me to be to my husband. Even though I am not always perfect at it, I get to try and I love to be his helpmate.
- 1 year, 11 months
- I've learned to let the little things go.
- I love sharing my life with my best friend. Waiting for him to wake up so we can start the day together.
- 6 years of marriage.
- Clear/honest communication and compromise are key for longevity.
- I married my best friend. We are able to get mad and then laugh together within a reasonable time because we both realize that most things "are not that serious" and we trust the process that God has allowed us to share together forever.
- We have been married for almost 10 years.
- I've learned so many things and I'm still learning. It's a never ending process. Taking the time to study what he likes/needs…giving him affirmation is one thing. Building him up and acknowledging that he's doing a great job as a husband and father. Being his friend!
- My favorite thing is the friendship! Best friends! The inside jokes…conversations. You become that confidant when times are hard and it all stays between the two of you. It's a freedom to be who you are and vulnerable without judgement! A bond! But it takes work! It's not easy…but it's so rewarding!
- Married for 35 years
- Marriage is a deliberate effort. It takes work but it's not too hard when you're in love with your husband. Even submitting to your husbandisn't hard when you're with someone who is really in love with you. It's easy to submit to Godly leadership.
- My favorite thing in our marriage is traveling together. We've had so many experiences together and met so many different people. It's never boring and we have so many good memories we can revisit. Inside jokes too.
God. Work. Friendship. Compromise.
It seems these are a few of the pillars to a good marriage. I hope to be able to say some of the things these women shared when I'm 8 months, 2 years, or 35 years into my marriage. Don't think I'm building my marriage solely off of marriage advice though. Dating takes a lot of work too. But more on that in a future post.
“; )”
I want to say a huge thank you to the women who volunteered to answer my questions and be a part of this article.
