Two years ago today, I heard a yes that would change my life forever.
Bev and I had been working on a stage production for the youth ministry at our church. We had been getting to know each other for months. I liked her. A lot. This is something of which she frequently reminds me. She claims she wasn’t interested in me for most of the time I liked her, but I’m a pretty charming and cool guy, considered by thousands to be like super hot, so the jury is still out as to whether she is telling the truth.
But we were really good friends. We talked every day, whether we were in town or not. We shared a lot of similar interests, and had hours long conversations about everything and about nothing. We were and still are similarly silly people. Well, she is. I am a completely normal human being. All of my friends will tell you that (no, you may not actually ask them). Our passions were similar, and that is how we came to be creating this stage production together.
“I am a completely normal human being.”
She had completed her year of no dating 2 months prior. I had already asked her out and she had turned me down once. Many guys would consider even a friendship with their person of interest all but over at this point. But I had decided that my love for her (and therefore my friendship with her) was not based on whether or not she loved me back. Was I going to stalk and pester her? No. Was I going to continue to treat her the exact same way I had been treating her? Yes. Even if what I wanted never happened.
But during the process of creating this stage production we got even closer, sharing in the successes and frustrations as well as the excitements of creating a story and making that story happen on stage. We continued to get to know each other both by talking and by observing each others’ character and actions.
After the first time I asked to court her, when she turned me down, I decided that I would never ask her again, and that the responsibility was on her to tell me if she changed her mind. It wasn’t a hardening of my heart towards her. It was just a determination not to force her to go in a direction that she did not want to go in. It was one of the methods I employed to retain the friendship with her that was so dear to me.
“I simply offered my listening ear and understanding heart.”
I remember one night she actually told me more about why she turned me down. I listened empathetically. I decided to receive and be grateful for this information, this valuable piece of her, that she had chosen to give me. I didn’t push her to change her mind. I didn’t refute her and list the reasons why she was wrong for that decision. I simply offered my listening ear and understanding heart.
As the weeks went by, I could tell she was having a change of heart towards me. It became so obvious to me that I changed my mind and resolved to talk to her about it again when she came back from her out of town work trip. Right around the same time that I made that decision, she texted me and said that she wanted to talk because “I don’t think we can hide anymore.”
Now, to be clear, we were not hiding anything. The friendship lines were black and white, and there was no crossing. She was referencing the fact that people would ask about us all the time, trying to figure out if there was something more behind our friendship. We had simply progressed to the point where we were two friends who liked each other a lot but talked about that particular point very little.
That April 27th was the best April 27th of my life. We talked openly. We shared our misgivings. We figured we might be going in the same direction, and we decided to walk there together. 2 years later, it’s 4 months before our wedding, and I regret nothing and have absolutely no misgivings, questions, doubts, or what-ifs. Is there the trepidation of not knowing exactly how this marriage thing is going to work? Of course. If there wasn’t, I would be a pretty foolish guy. But I can tell you beyond any shadow of any doubt that Beverly Joi Young is the woman God led me to meet, court, engage, and marry.
Happy Anniversary, my love. It’s been the best 2 years of my life, and I can’t wait to say “I do” in exactly
But who’s counting…