A quick Google search of this title will show you that very often people are not OK. It may also reveal to you that just as often as people are not OK, they pretend that they are. I feel like we've all been there. We feel awful, but we still put a smile on our face and bulldoze through our day. At church it can be even worse. Christians should always be OK. We pray about whatever that thing is and we find security in knowing the Lord has it under control. "I gave it over to the Lord and He worked it out."
“I gave it over to the Lord and He worked it out.”
But what do you do when you still don't feel OK?
I have essentially no authority to recommend how you should live your life. I have even less authority to give mental health advice. This post is not about how to feel OK when you don't, it's about how I came to be OK with not being OK.
I was very good at putting up a front. I had been in church all my life, so I knew all the lines. One person says, "How are you doing Sister So-and-So?" to which the reply is, "Oh, I'm blessed and highly favored." There is a case that can be made for repeating phrases or verses to remind yourself of their truth, but there's not much that can be said for downright lying. When someone asks how you're doing and, knowing your life is in utter turmoil, you reply. "I'm doing just fine. How are you?" that is a lie. That "I'm doing just fine", that was my line.
In general, I found that people aren't genuinely concerned about how you're doing when they ask that question, it's just a customary way to open a conversation. Be honest, how many times have you asked, "Hey girl, how you doin'?" but you didn't really want to know? In that case, the "blessed and highly favored" line isn't all that bad, right? Where it does become an issue is when you are lying to your family, friends, or significant other. It all boils down to trust.
“I will trust in the Lord”
People who only read the quotes and pictures of this post are going to think I'm so churchy. Anyway, back to the point. When you don't trust a person with information, you lie to them. When you don't feel like you can trust anyone, you lie to everyone. For too long I was putting up a front and pretending like I had everything together when I didn't. That was a lie. Luckily, Rob stayed persistent and saw the real me through the facade I was putting up. Because we started off as friends, I already had a level of trust in him that I may not have had with a person who started off trying to date (and you know what I mean by date) me before he knew my middle name.
Being able to be true, honest, and real with each other has greatly improved our relationship. Just think about it, if I was still pretending Rob might have fallen in love with the person I was pretending to be and then where would we be? I would have to keep up the "blessed and highly favored" act forever. Far too much work.
In the end, I guess I'm saying it's good to be honest. You should first be honest with yourself then find those people in your life who you can trust and be honest with them too. Freeing yourself from that lie is liberating and gives you better connections with the people you love. Even today if you ask me how I'm doing you might see me pause. That's usually me turning off my autopilot lie and searching for the truth. You try telling the truth today and see how it feels.
